Thursday, January 29, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Bike Without Borders
A new project in the pipeline!----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Jessica Sunter jessicas@bikeswithoutborders.org
To: lightworker_ph@yahoo.com
Sent: Monday, January 26, 2009 3:22:18 AM
Subject: BWB Chapters
Dear L.J.,
You recently contacted us about creating your own BWB chapters and we are excited to have you join our team! We wanted to let you know that we are making plans for Bike Month which takes place between May 25th and June21st. In June we are planning to have a Bikes Without Borders Family BikeRide. The idea is that it would be similar to a Terry Fox Run but the focus would be on biking a specific route. It would be a fun ride, not a race by any means. For fund raising you could charge a fee for entry into the ride, and/or there is also the option of having riders get sponsors for every kilometer they ride, or just for participating in the ride no matter how far you are able to ride. Give this event idea some thought, you can do it around a high school track, or anywhere that works best for your community. Some other suggestions are to have people decorate their bikes or wear costumes etc.
We are just in the initial planning phases of the BWB Family Bike Ride but we would like to encourage you to run a similar event in your own community. Bikes Without Borders will send you more information on the progress of our event in Toronto with a confirmed date and location as soon as possible. Our hope is to create a cross country bike event in support of Bikes Without Borders, and we would love you to join us in this venture!
Bikes Without Borders’ current focus is on providing new bikes (at an affordable price) for the developing world and that is why we are no longer going to be putting our efforts towards bike drives, but we can put you in touch with organizations that do bike drives if you are still interested in hosting such an event.
Thank you again for your interest in Bikes Without Borders and expect to hear more from us soon! If you have any questions, or suggestions in regards to the event please feel free to email
Megan atmailto:atmeganvw@bikeswithoutborders.org..
Sincerely,
The Bikes Without Borders Team Toronto, ON
-- Jessica Sunter
World AIDS Day Event Coordinator
Bikes Without Borders http://www.bikeswithoutborders.org/
Join our Facebook Group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=12577907556
Join the Cause: http://www.causes.com/bikeswithoutborders
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The World at Large
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: tom woodfin
To: LJ
Sent: Sunday, January 25, 2009 11:25:07 AM
Subject: the world at large
heres a scenario for you:
the philippines, a look into the future. here we have a nation that has been there, done that, theres nothing these guys dont know about banking crisies, the philippines wrote the handbook on these things! infact it seems they've screwed up so many times that theyre almost insulated from whats going on. unfortunately thats 'almost' because the real crisis that people are still so slow to catch on is one of paper money. and when that comes tumbling down it will certainly be interesting to see how things play out. the invention of paper money I'm now convinced was entirely created in the self interest of a group of bankers looking to hold the world to ransom. this invention of paper money has been exported to the rest of the world. currencies so far have had to keep up with this falling dollar, so when the states prints money the rest of the world follows suit. its empiricism at its most feindish;
the empires of old used armies to march upon distant lands claiming them by force. it became obvious this tactic had its flaws, so instead the united states decided their empire would take on a different form. things are easier to fight if you can see what your fighting. people see soldiers invading, a natrual reaction would be to fight that invasion (depending on the potency of their artillery) but nobody is less likely to rebel than the guy who thinks he's free. the creation of paper money works as follows but first we'll start with some supply demand economics;
the most important thing to remember is that something is worth whatever people are prepared to pay for it. i have $10, you have $10, everybody has $10, the price of a banana costs $1. when everybody has $10 there seems to be no problem. if there are enough bananas everybody can have one, if the banana crop was ruined this year, the supply of bananas is short, the price rises, it goes to whoevers prepared to pay the most for that banana. if there are more bananas than expected one year there is an oversupply, because people don't want that many bananas, to sell them the price gets lower. this is basic supply/demand economics, a natrual balance, the rarer something is that people want then the more expensive it is. the more abundant something is that people don't want the cheaper it is. a diamond is very rare and very sought after, therefore very expensive. a grain of sand is extremely abundant and not really that sought after. so its pretty much free.
this system works ok until you start tampering with the money supply. back to bananas. a banana costs $1 when everyone has $10. suddenly from nowhere new money is created and given to a chosen few, now these chosen few with no extra effort have $1000. suddenly these few are prepared to pay $10 a banana to ensure they get their banana because they have more money. the price of bananas rises. its creating a flase demand. these people dont want bananas anymore than the next person, they can simply afford to pay more for them and so the price goes to whatever people are prepared to pay. its pretty clear we can see this happened in the housing bubble. new money came on the market, people paid more because they had access to more money. the price went up. way (way) beyond what it was worth. but it wasnt the houses getting more expensive. a house is what it is, it was the money getting cheaper, more abundant that sent the price up.
the problem with this particular example was that when all this money became available to the banks and the loans were made to people to buy houses by the banks, these risky loans (given to people who probably could not pay them back, but hey it didnt matter because "it was different this time") that garbage debt was chopped up, sliced, diced, repackaged, and given a seal of approval by the ratings agencies. not too dissimilar from a meat such as spam. all the odds and ends of meat, hooves, arseholes, scraps that get scraped from the floor of the abatoire then get churned up compressed repackaged and sold to people as spam in a nice little tin at a very low price.
these loan packages were sold to investors, pension funds, schools, you name it, as high grade investment tools. it was like calling a tin of spam a fresh cut slice of tenderloin.
now of course its all coming home to roost and these loans that were made to people who couldnt pay them back are, suprise suprise not being paid back. this is extremely cunning - the banks had access to free money, which they then lent to the people under the condition 'if you do not repay this loand i can claim an asset of your, ie. your house. so in otherwords they can get something for nothing. own the house and you own the people. but at the moment its like saying one of our cattle was infected with something dreadful, however we didnt know and we scraped together the odds and ends of ALL the cattle to sell on as spam. so we have no idea which tins are infected and which arent. these debt packages are so complex that nobody knows whos owed what. and therefore nobody gets paid. and people who dont get paid, dont spend money, unless they borrow some.
heres where it gets really interesting. in a bumbling bid to try and rectify the situation and not expose the sham, governemnts are trying throw unprecedented amounts of money into the mix, to keep this financial corpse from rotting, or at least mask the smell. where do they get this money from? glad you asked, they either borrow it, or they print it.
here is an important principle; debt is a claim on future labour. what your basically doing is saying I havent worked to earn the money yet, but when I do, the money I WILL earn from my future work, will go back to you. with interest. interest? thats right, I will give you back more money than I borrowed from you. where does that extra money come from? (and this is tough to get your head around) well it has to be created from thin air. diluting the value of all the other notes around it.
the UK have run themselves into one hell of a mess. theyve borrowed money to buy things that feel nice. if they wanted a new tv they bought it, on credit, new holiday, no problem, credit, new house, new kitchen? sure why not, just take out a loan. now these things are not going to create any future wealth. they are merely indulgences. so where does the money come to pay for these things? theyve not been worked for and earned. well. either it doesnt. or it comes from thin air (printed) the 'thin air' option destroys the value of the pound as lots of new money becomes available, the 'doesn't' option destroys the value of the pound as nobody will trust lending money to the UK ever again. its the perfect check mate. there is one other option;
the people. if we rememeber, debt is a claim on FUTURE human labour. so the UK government can say, ok, we'll tax the people for this horrendous debt we've run up. and now we return to the philippines.
the philippines ran into horrendous problems with its banking crisis. it was by far the worst in asia. the governemnt borrowed and borrowed to bail out their banks for their reckless decisions to force lend onto people who were high risk. now the government is paying back that debt with taxpayer money, taxpayer money that should be going on schools, hospitals, roads, basically back to the taxpayer. but its not. its been creamed by the banking elites, and thus you get what the philippines is today; a woeful lack of education, terrible infastructure, dangerous medical care, rampant corruption. but this is how they want it. the people can be manipulated, stolen from, and abused. but at the end of the day when you've just worked 12 hours in a sweatshop, who has the energy to rebel? havent they got enough probelms? who even knows what theyre rebelling against? theres food on the table, you might have a bit of extra cash for a tv, theres no invading armies in sight. its the most cunning form of slavery. and everybody believes in it which is what gives it its validity. generations of british children will be paying for the mistakes made by their govenrment.
as you said to me once, it only takes a few people to stop believing in it and it stops being true. this is what we could be facing. and these things according to history don't usually go down without a fight. the war engineered i imagine will be between creditors and debtors, asia is owed money by the west. the west cannot pay with money that means anything. UNLESS it enslaves its people and reduces them to the kind of poverty we've seen in asia for so long. this may take a big fight and circus to implement though. I dont know who it will involve, where it will take place, what it means for us, but you can be sure that theres no way in hell I'm going off to fight and die for the UK government. times like these are tense becuase everybodys in the shit. and when you put rats in a box eventually they fight. there are so many reasons the world could go to war, and so many reasons it seems inevitable. but when it happens I'll be as far away from all the bullshit as possible. riding it out, probably planting potatoes on a hectre of my own land in bohol.
and that pretty much concludes economics class for today, it helped me get a few things clearer in my head too,
heres a website you may find interesting;
http://www.ratracerebellion.com/jobs-education.htm
directory of online work I think, I'm looking into it now for me and my family and firends.
the english school is going well, we're picking up students and going on marketing campaigns, i recently got a client in mactan, hadsan beach resort, I cycle there on a morning, or at least down to the ferry port where i get off close to the old bridge and cycle across mactan. its by far the quickest way to get there, I can do the whole thing in under an hour. and when i get there white sand, blue water, free lunch and 760 pesos an hour to teach a group of four. seems like a good deal to me.
not all my emails can be this long but i figured it had been a while and you needed some written analogies to refer back to in understanding this complex mess as it unfolds.
take care dude, cebu misses you.
Tom
From: tom woodfin
To: LJ
Sent: Sunday, January 25, 2009 11:25:07 AM
Subject: the world at large
heres a scenario for you:
the philippines, a look into the future. here we have a nation that has been there, done that, theres nothing these guys dont know about banking crisies, the philippines wrote the handbook on these things! infact it seems they've screwed up so many times that theyre almost insulated from whats going on. unfortunately thats 'almost' because the real crisis that people are still so slow to catch on is one of paper money. and when that comes tumbling down it will certainly be interesting to see how things play out. the invention of paper money I'm now convinced was entirely created in the self interest of a group of bankers looking to hold the world to ransom. this invention of paper money has been exported to the rest of the world. currencies so far have had to keep up with this falling dollar, so when the states prints money the rest of the world follows suit. its empiricism at its most feindish;
the empires of old used armies to march upon distant lands claiming them by force. it became obvious this tactic had its flaws, so instead the united states decided their empire would take on a different form. things are easier to fight if you can see what your fighting. people see soldiers invading, a natrual reaction would be to fight that invasion (depending on the potency of their artillery) but nobody is less likely to rebel than the guy who thinks he's free. the creation of paper money works as follows but first we'll start with some supply demand economics;
the most important thing to remember is that something is worth whatever people are prepared to pay for it. i have $10, you have $10, everybody has $10, the price of a banana costs $1. when everybody has $10 there seems to be no problem. if there are enough bananas everybody can have one, if the banana crop was ruined this year, the supply of bananas is short, the price rises, it goes to whoevers prepared to pay the most for that banana. if there are more bananas than expected one year there is an oversupply, because people don't want that many bananas, to sell them the price gets lower. this is basic supply/demand economics, a natrual balance, the rarer something is that people want then the more expensive it is. the more abundant something is that people don't want the cheaper it is. a diamond is very rare and very sought after, therefore very expensive. a grain of sand is extremely abundant and not really that sought after. so its pretty much free.
this system works ok until you start tampering with the money supply. back to bananas. a banana costs $1 when everyone has $10. suddenly from nowhere new money is created and given to a chosen few, now these chosen few with no extra effort have $1000. suddenly these few are prepared to pay $10 a banana to ensure they get their banana because they have more money. the price of bananas rises. its creating a flase demand. these people dont want bananas anymore than the next person, they can simply afford to pay more for them and so the price goes to whatever people are prepared to pay. its pretty clear we can see this happened in the housing bubble. new money came on the market, people paid more because they had access to more money. the price went up. way (way) beyond what it was worth. but it wasnt the houses getting more expensive. a house is what it is, it was the money getting cheaper, more abundant that sent the price up.
the problem with this particular example was that when all this money became available to the banks and the loans were made to people to buy houses by the banks, these risky loans (given to people who probably could not pay them back, but hey it didnt matter because "it was different this time") that garbage debt was chopped up, sliced, diced, repackaged, and given a seal of approval by the ratings agencies. not too dissimilar from a meat such as spam. all the odds and ends of meat, hooves, arseholes, scraps that get scraped from the floor of the abatoire then get churned up compressed repackaged and sold to people as spam in a nice little tin at a very low price.
these loan packages were sold to investors, pension funds, schools, you name it, as high grade investment tools. it was like calling a tin of spam a fresh cut slice of tenderloin.
now of course its all coming home to roost and these loans that were made to people who couldnt pay them back are, suprise suprise not being paid back. this is extremely cunning - the banks had access to free money, which they then lent to the people under the condition 'if you do not repay this loand i can claim an asset of your, ie. your house. so in otherwords they can get something for nothing. own the house and you own the people. but at the moment its like saying one of our cattle was infected with something dreadful, however we didnt know and we scraped together the odds and ends of ALL the cattle to sell on as spam. so we have no idea which tins are infected and which arent. these debt packages are so complex that nobody knows whos owed what. and therefore nobody gets paid. and people who dont get paid, dont spend money, unless they borrow some.
heres where it gets really interesting. in a bumbling bid to try and rectify the situation and not expose the sham, governemnts are trying throw unprecedented amounts of money into the mix, to keep this financial corpse from rotting, or at least mask the smell. where do they get this money from? glad you asked, they either borrow it, or they print it.
here is an important principle; debt is a claim on future labour. what your basically doing is saying I havent worked to earn the money yet, but when I do, the money I WILL earn from my future work, will go back to you. with interest. interest? thats right, I will give you back more money than I borrowed from you. where does that extra money come from? (and this is tough to get your head around) well it has to be created from thin air. diluting the value of all the other notes around it.
the UK have run themselves into one hell of a mess. theyve borrowed money to buy things that feel nice. if they wanted a new tv they bought it, on credit, new holiday, no problem, credit, new house, new kitchen? sure why not, just take out a loan. now these things are not going to create any future wealth. they are merely indulgences. so where does the money come to pay for these things? theyve not been worked for and earned. well. either it doesnt. or it comes from thin air (printed) the 'thin air' option destroys the value of the pound as lots of new money becomes available, the 'doesn't' option destroys the value of the pound as nobody will trust lending money to the UK ever again. its the perfect check mate. there is one other option;
the people. if we rememeber, debt is a claim on FUTURE human labour. so the UK government can say, ok, we'll tax the people for this horrendous debt we've run up. and now we return to the philippines.
the philippines ran into horrendous problems with its banking crisis. it was by far the worst in asia. the governemnt borrowed and borrowed to bail out their banks for their reckless decisions to force lend onto people who were high risk. now the government is paying back that debt with taxpayer money, taxpayer money that should be going on schools, hospitals, roads, basically back to the taxpayer. but its not. its been creamed by the banking elites, and thus you get what the philippines is today; a woeful lack of education, terrible infastructure, dangerous medical care, rampant corruption. but this is how they want it. the people can be manipulated, stolen from, and abused. but at the end of the day when you've just worked 12 hours in a sweatshop, who has the energy to rebel? havent they got enough probelms? who even knows what theyre rebelling against? theres food on the table, you might have a bit of extra cash for a tv, theres no invading armies in sight. its the most cunning form of slavery. and everybody believes in it which is what gives it its validity. generations of british children will be paying for the mistakes made by their govenrment.
as you said to me once, it only takes a few people to stop believing in it and it stops being true. this is what we could be facing. and these things according to history don't usually go down without a fight. the war engineered i imagine will be between creditors and debtors, asia is owed money by the west. the west cannot pay with money that means anything. UNLESS it enslaves its people and reduces them to the kind of poverty we've seen in asia for so long. this may take a big fight and circus to implement though. I dont know who it will involve, where it will take place, what it means for us, but you can be sure that theres no way in hell I'm going off to fight and die for the UK government. times like these are tense becuase everybodys in the shit. and when you put rats in a box eventually they fight. there are so many reasons the world could go to war, and so many reasons it seems inevitable. but when it happens I'll be as far away from all the bullshit as possible. riding it out, probably planting potatoes on a hectre of my own land in bohol.
and that pretty much concludes economics class for today, it helped me get a few things clearer in my head too,
heres a website you may find interesting;
http://www.ratracerebellion.com/jobs-education.htm
directory of online work I think, I'm looking into it now for me and my family and firends.
the english school is going well, we're picking up students and going on marketing campaigns, i recently got a client in mactan, hadsan beach resort, I cycle there on a morning, or at least down to the ferry port where i get off close to the old bridge and cycle across mactan. its by far the quickest way to get there, I can do the whole thing in under an hour. and when i get there white sand, blue water, free lunch and 760 pesos an hour to teach a group of four. seems like a good deal to me.
not all my emails can be this long but i figured it had been a while and you needed some written analogies to refer back to in understanding this complex mess as it unfolds.
take care dude, cebu misses you.
Tom
Thursday, January 22, 2009
INVITE
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: pi mu
To: L. J.
Sent: Saturday, October 11, 2008 12:34:34 PM
Subject:
I have an idea. There's a big possibility I may be putting up a separate cottage for longstaying guests. I asked around how much rent might be for rooms around and it's a bit pricey for Palawan round mga 6K. Why don't you contribute to the cottage and your share can be around 1K per month only for utilities and rent. I'll have a dedicated room just for you, you can bike to the cafe or we can consider getting broadband together so you can work at the space without giving up your day job at the same time work with the community while healing yourself at the same time. I may start constructing in a few weeks, if you go for this, I'll ask you to contribute around 6K as advanced payment for construction. You'll be responsible for buying your own bed though although you can just have it constructed for around a grand. There's a ref na and a cooking area as well as bathroom, you just need to buy your own bed (and paint your own room). Tell me what you think soon so I can move forward. This is becoming possible because a British writer is thinking of staying in the house for three months and is willing to contribute to the building cost. I would've offered you to stay at the house but if he's staying there long term also, we'll be too masikip. These are just ideas, even the film making project is a possibility. I definitely want to do something in that regard. I just have to raise money also for a camera a better one than the one I had before. Tell me what you think, girl. Everything flows lang whatever will be will be. Hope you're well!
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: L.J.
To: pi mu
Sent: Tuesday, October 14, 2008 11:08:09 PM
Subject: Re:
Just finished with Gerard's movie this morning. Boy, that was a lot.
I'm going to sleep on it for the next few days and will let you know. This will be a big decision for me to make, it's like the boyfriend or the dream.
I really want to be around like minded people right now but I still cannot let go of the bf. Sigh. Why?
What you wrote is how exactly I pictured it, it's surreal.
Send me some healing, I took 2 pills two weeks ago and just finished witha 5 - days shoot. Buti na lang troy's coming here tomorrow. i feel that I have to re-align. send me some healing. please :)
Love LJ
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: pi mu
To: L. J.
Sent: Sunday, October 19, 2008 4:01:13 PM
Subject:
Everytime you've made any decision in your life where you plan too much and worry about the next step, what happens?
There were times when you took small steps to venture into the unknown. When you did, what happened? What do you think would happen if you lived by faith that everything you need and require to evolve as a human being will be provided to you, has always been on its way to you and gets blocked when you start worrying about your fears again.
Healing isn't concerned about making us feel safe. In fact, our penchant, our yen and need to feel safe is what we need to be healed from. We are safe. We have always been secure. If we believed that we are infinite, what would be our reason for any insecurity?
The world has taught us that in order to grow, to be happy and to evolve, we have to worry, we have to do all these things that need doing, we need to accomplish things and have lots of money. There is a certain though out there, though, and it isn't easy to think because it takes so much faith to get to that thought. The thought that when we leave things alone, if we save tomorrow's troubles for tomorrow, everything would fix itself.
We've been trying to fix the problem for god knows how long, and it never gets fixed while we keep fighting, struggling the good fight and struggle. Spirituality cannot be about struggling. Spirituality isn't about resisting and attachment, etc etc etc. It's about letting go, setting free. It's about having access to the whole world, at the same time, not needing or becoming attached to what comes to us.
It's going to take so much time to clean house. So much commitment to throw out the garbage. It isn't a mental framework, nor is it an intellectualizing process. It's something you just allow to happen. Letting go.
But if the conditions don't allow you to let go, if you are surrounded by people for instance who have expectations over you, or if you live in an expensive place and if you want freedom to just cry or be lazy or be diligent or be a bitch or be a generous spirit, and your city can't let you do it, then you are living in a mental prison. A prison that isn't the other person's fault, but yours only because you are in its grip. It has power over you.
If you are not empowered yet to live a life without the expectations, the judgements of others, then you are excused to take a leave of absence from the things that trap and imprison you. You are excused to just read books and be a vegetable and say, "hayyyy." You deserve that and more.
I moved to Palawan precisely for this reason. I've been where you are, I've done all of that and I know how difficult and shitty it can get. It seems fun in a very shallow way but it's shitty not knowing if tomorrow is going to be the exact same battles as yesterday. You need wisdom, courage and determination and if you haven't enough, you need to catch up.
It doesn't matter if you have work or not when you come. You can live in the house for as long as you want, I have a spare bedroom. Just help clean once in a while, and cook. I fixed everything so that you can live simply. You can live on bananas and papayas, even, I'm surrounded by tons of fruit trees and you can go on raw. If you want to eat other things, it will cost you maybe less than a hundred a day if you are simple. I have a computer for editing you can use once we are able to buy a camera. My dream is to set up a studio in Kalipay Beach itself later, but it will take me two years to do that.
If you want to stay with the community forever, that's fine too. You can live both in Puerto Prinsesa and in Kalipay. There's also volunteer work with another healer from Manila who moved here with us doing stuff in a fishing village. Else, I can help you find a way to earn a living, else, set up small and easily manageable businesses for you. Don't rush. If it takes time, so be it, right?
Money is so easy if you have energy. You just don't have energy, which is why the money is so hard to access. And if you can access it, it takes too much energy to maintain that you get so exhausted doing so. This isn't about money though. I also want you to be open to the most utmost simplicity in case we are called to do so. The world economies are hitting the fan already and the spaces I've been putting up are there for demonstrating to people that we can live on nothing, manifest everything, and no matter what happens, be happy with all outcomes. We have two or three business and foundation ideas along the line you might be interested in. I've just been so busy writing a book and getting the place ready, but something in me also tells me not to worry. For now, here's my offer. You can stay at the house and in Kalipay for as ong as you want. I can provide simple food but would rather you and other stay-ins contribute little bits of your day-to-day so we keep everyone on an independent level. Just have a small transition fund of a few thousands in your pocket when you come and you'll be fine. As long as you're prepared for the possibility that if you are called to do so, you can live in Kalipay for a long period (Angelito's there) in case you need absolute healing or if it doesn't work out for you in Puerto.I have no expectations. Like you know me, I don't plan, I just live in the moment and manifest things as they come by. I am your teacher, your friend, and if you remember Boracay, haha, your son. Tee hee. Shrooms!
Here is your only standard. Come only if you can convert your fears. You can come afraid, but the difference I am looking for is if you're willing to do this afraid. This is true light work, ladies and gentlemen. This is the path to collective evolution, but which starts with you. Once you're on the soul train, there's no turning back. If you are ready for this, then, 1, 2, 3, GO! Anytime. You can come tomorrow if you want. Four batches of Maian Planet attendees coming today, Next Wednesday, Next Satureday and next next week. You can join the gang during one of the trips.
Lastly, I want to travel to Europe and the US next year. And maybe Manila and some parts of Palawan this year. I was manifesting a housemate. Would that be you, then, haha?
( ...And three weeks later, I landed in Palawan. This email thread changed my life. It wasn't an easy choice to make. I'm just glad and thankful to the universe and my higher self for steering me to the right path.)
ALCHEMY
I woke up at 4:00 AM and my first thought was work! I’ve been trying to limit only 25% of my time and energy on work so that I will have the rest of the pie for more productive activities, say, loafing around the farm, meditation and yoga by the beach, reading How To Read the Tarot, biking to Vegan Food House…. being, loving. But this week, I think I was actually working for 8 hours a day! Would you believe that!!! This can't be a good sign.
To top that, the week has been stressful not because of the load but because of this straight-from-Uni- guy I am working on a certain project with. It’s not so much that he doesn’t have any idea what’s going on, I’m cool with that. But the I-know-it-all stance he takes really gets to me. But then again, I am sure it’s just an aspect of myself I am seeing in him. It’s not him, it’s me. Just a matter of looking harder and seeing my refelection and learning the lesson to be learned, etc, etc. I know I have to transmute this. It would help if he is a little humble though, or is that asking too much from the universe?
To help me transmute all this density, I’ve decided to take up on gardening today. I think planting is the best alchemy work. Our waste (Carbon Dioxide, Nitrogen) are plant’s food. With the use of light (photosynthesis) they are able to transmute this waste into the most beauti
ful things - fruits, flowers – in the world. Maybe I can learn a thing or two from them when it comes to transmuting denser energies. Plus it's about time I help out in the garden, been here for two months and I think I watered the plants a total of three times? I can't wait to connect with the earth and the devas too, I've always felt a connection with that world. I think when I landed here on Earth the first time, I took an elemental form before I actually chose a human form. Will see what the plants have to say…
On a lighter note on alchemy, I am having a blissful time transforming this budding love I am feeling for you-know-who into something higher, purer, unconditional. The attraction/connection I am feeling towards him is insanely strong, in a good way! The past days, I would find myself smiling whenever I remember an anecdote he said or whenever a picture of him flashes in my mind. My housemate PI will hear me giggling while doing the laundry or watering the plants. (He knows, he actually refers to him as my luvy duvy. Cute.) At night, I fall asleep drawing a picture of me sitting on his lap while I run my fingers through his hair, planting a little kiss on his nape, on his cheeks, snuggling on his chest, for as long as I want, feeling his heartbeat.. Whenever I come into that space, everything is all right. It feels like this world, this universe is a great place to live.
In this path to oneness, I am learning that even if some things do not manifest into physicality, it doesn’t mean it's not real. Actually reality is a non-issue for me anymore. I am just happy to be gifted by the Universe with his presence. I must be on the right track if I can attract someone as evolved and pure as him into my space. He inspire me to transmute myself higher and higher into a being of light, And I am just happy to have nice conversations with him, share music, stare at his photos, and of course, the wild passionate love making followed by post-lovemaking joints on astral plane. Now that’s not asking too much from the Universe.
To top that, the week has been stressful not because of the load but because of this straight-from-Uni- guy I am working on a certain project with. It’s not so much that he doesn’t have any idea what’s going on, I’m cool with that. But the I-know-it-all stance he takes really gets to me. But then again, I am sure it’s just an aspect of myself I am seeing in him. It’s not him, it’s me. Just a matter of looking harder and seeing my refelection and learning the lesson to be learned, etc, etc. I know I have to transmute this. It would help if he is a little humble though, or is that asking too much from the universe?
To help me transmute all this density, I’ve decided to take up on gardening today. I think planting is the best alchemy work. Our waste (Carbon Dioxide, Nitrogen) are plant’s food. With the use of light (photosynthesis) they are able to transmute this waste into the most beauti
ful things - fruits, flowers – in the world. Maybe I can learn a thing or two from them when it comes to transmuting denser energies. Plus it's about time I help out in the garden, been here for two months and I think I watered the plants a total of three times? I can't wait to connect with the earth and the devas too, I've always felt a connection with that world. I think when I landed here on Earth the first time, I took an elemental form before I actually chose a human form. Will see what the plants have to say… On a lighter note on alchemy, I am having a blissful time transforming this budding love I am feeling for you-know-who into something higher, purer, unconditional. The attraction/connection I am feeling towards him is insanely strong, in a good way! The past days, I would find myself smiling whenever I remember an anecdote he said or whenever a picture of him flashes in my mind. My housemate PI will hear me giggling while doing the laundry or watering the plants. (He knows, he actually refers to him as my luvy duvy. Cute.) At night, I fall asleep drawing a picture of me sitting on his lap while I run my fingers through his hair, planting a little kiss on his nape, on his cheeks, snuggling on his chest, for as long as I want, feeling his heartbeat.. Whenever I come into that space, everything is all right. It feels like this world, this universe is a great place to live.
In this path to oneness, I am learning that even if some things do not manifest into physicality, it doesn’t mean it's not real. Actually reality is a non-issue for me anymore. I am just happy to be gifted by the Universe with his presence. I must be on the right track if I can attract someone as evolved and pure as him into my space. He inspire me to transmute myself higher and higher into a being of light, And I am just happy to have nice conversations with him, share music, stare at his photos, and of course, the wild passionate love making followed by post-lovemaking joints on astral plane. Now that’s not asking too much from the Universe.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
One II
It's official.
I'm in love. All the symptoms are manifesting.
How do I stop this?
Can't afford to fall in love right now.
But can afford to wait.
Will play it by ear. Go with the flow.
Am I just imagining this?
What is real anyway
I'll just suck in on the experience.
And try not to make a fool of myself...
- as I always tend to do that -
When I'm in love.
M gonna stop this craziness now.
This can't be. Impossible.
I'm just addicted to love. That's all.
Can't really be falling in love with ...
Well, he's everything I've dreamed off.
.....
What the hell, there's 1 out of 8 billion probability
that he's the One.
I'll take my chances.
I'm in love.
So it's official.
I'm in love. All the symptoms are manifesting.
How do I stop this?
Can't afford to fall in love right now.
But can afford to wait.
Will play it by ear. Go with the flow.
Am I just imagining this?
What is real anyway
I'll just suck in on the experience.
And try not to make a fool of myself...
- as I always tend to do that -
When I'm in love.
M gonna stop this craziness now.
This can't be. Impossible.
I'm just addicted to love. That's all.
Can't really be falling in love with ...
Well, he's everything I've dreamed off.
.....
What the hell, there's 1 out of 8 billion probability
that he's the One.
I'll take my chances.
I'm in love.
So it's official.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
DREAMS II
I dreamt of putting various beautiful fishes in a man made pool inside a house. There was a very haughty crab too and he ended up eating one of the shrimp.
Gerard was there, he was helping me with the fishes. Then MG came and, apparently, we were both working for him. I left the room, Gerard stayed bec MG wants to talk to him. Then I received a text msg from Gerard saying he doesn't love me anymore because I am sleeping in other people's houses.
I looked up what fishes could mean and it means prosperity and finally cutting yopur connection with someone, esp if you see a blue fish. I remember holding a blue fish on my hand.
The crab reminds me of how I and Gerard would always compete, and birng each other down when it comes to work. In the dream, the crab lost his legs and claws, so it could mean the end of this feeling.
I love this dream, it's very insightful. The moldavite crystal is really showing me great vivid dreams...
Gerard was there, he was helping me with the fishes. Then MG came and, apparently, we were both working for him. I left the room, Gerard stayed bec MG wants to talk to him. Then I received a text msg from Gerard saying he doesn't love me anymore because I am sleeping in other people's houses.
I looked up what fishes could mean and it means prosperity and finally cutting yopur connection with someone, esp if you see a blue fish. I remember holding a blue fish on my hand.
The crab reminds me of how I and Gerard would always compete, and birng each other down when it comes to work. In the dream, the crab lost his legs and claws, so it could mean the end of this feeling.
I love this dream, it's very insightful. The moldavite crystal is really showing me great vivid dreams...
Friday, January 16, 2009
BAYWALK
PI took this photo last weekend. We biked around town, it was my first time to see the baywalk here in Puerto Princessa.
I was in awe with the beauty in front of me.
PURPOSE
The past two nights, everyone in the household were glued on my PC watching Zeitgeist and Zeitgeist Addendum. It was an intense movie night for me. I've seen both before, but it's a lot more intense when you are watching it with others who you know are on the same page as you. When we wrapped last night, we were all moved and thankful for the courage of the people behind it. It made me realize that making people aware is the first step, and a BIG step. Once you are aware, it's quite hard to go back to old patterns and belief systems. It's deluding yourself and that's quite hard to take every day.
I think that is my purpose - to bring awareness. I know so many still in the matrix and and I'm going to find a way to communicate with them and tell them what I know. From now, I will alot an hour- two hours a day just connecting with people and passing on information. Now it's making sense why the Universe gave me an online job, so that I realize the power of the internet and use it to save the world. Ha!
I also love connecting with people, and connecting people. Lori emailed me to say how happy she was to have attended the Lightworker's Gathering. Somehow I always find myself connecting this person to another, I guess my being a social butterfly before is not a waste afterall. I know I'm gonna be a lot more social again, but for now I need the solitude.
Another thing I realized I love doing is counseling. I have this online lightworker friend and he's quite young, 16-17. He worries me because he's thinking of committing suicide. I know that he is just trying to reach out - been there, done that, got the video, bought the T Shirt! Told him that it's normal, and that I've been there too. Emailed all my lightworker brothers and sisters in the city to connect with him so that he won't feel alone.
I am thankful that everyday I am getting more and more aligned to my soul's purpose.
P.S. I'm so in looooooove with my online crush!
P.S.S. Wow an online job, an online soul purpose, an online crush, what's next? an online .... ? mmm lets not go there
I think that is my purpose - to bring awareness. I know so many still in the matrix and and I'm going to find a way to communicate with them and tell them what I know. From now, I will alot an hour- two hours a day just connecting with people and passing on information. Now it's making sense why the Universe gave me an online job, so that I realize the power of the internet and use it to save the world. Ha!
I also love connecting with people, and connecting people. Lori emailed me to say how happy she was to have attended the Lightworker's Gathering. Somehow I always find myself connecting this person to another, I guess my being a social butterfly before is not a waste afterall. I know I'm gonna be a lot more social again, but for now I need the solitude.
Another thing I realized I love doing is counseling. I have this online lightworker friend and he's quite young, 16-17. He worries me because he's thinking of committing suicide. I know that he is just trying to reach out - been there, done that, got the video, bought the T Shirt! Told him that it's normal, and that I've been there too. Emailed all my lightworker brothers and sisters in the city to connect with him so that he won't feel alone.
I am thankful that everyday I am getting more and more aligned to my soul's purpose.
P.S. I'm so in looooooove with my online crush!
P.S.S. Wow an online job, an online soul purpose, an online crush, what's next? an online .... ? mmm lets not go there
Thursday, January 15, 2009
DREAMS
I've been having quite vivid dreams lately.Robin, our new housemate, told me I should really be writing them down. Dreams may not be just dreams, he said, it could mean that we travel out of our body and connect with the person we meet in our dreams in the astral plane. As WAKING LIFE puts it, dreams are reality. Dreams are real.
Here are some details I remember from my dreams the past days. I'm still figuring out what they mean but I'm pretty sure I'll figure it out later.
Jan 12
This is the night I decided to sleep outside our patio to bathe on the full moon. I woke up around 1:00 and felt an eerie chill so I decided to go in and sleep inside my bedroom.
Then around 3:00 AM I felt like something/someone was inside my bedroom watching me. I told myself not to open my eyes and I started calling in my angels and picturing white light protectin
g me.Jan 13
Nightmares. First, I dreamt that Gerard posted private photos of me online and when I am about to erase the files from his laptop his body guards came and tried to capture me. I woke up.
I went back to sleep again only to dream that we were in this dark world, in this building and somehow I'm running away or hiding from someone. Then my cousin stole my computer and my money. Hmmmm
Jan 14 (the night I hanged a dream catcher inside my moquito net and slept with a Moldavite Crystal Robin gave under my pillows)
I dreamt of Makki :)
I had a fight with his girlfriend. I told her to let go of Makki. It was a total cat fight if I remember it right.
Then I and Makki went to Cebu. We went clubbing, I think it's new year. We 'partied', went to hilton hotel and had some champagne.
I remember dreaming of looking for Natalie and Seth, film school classmates, too because she has all my clothes.
Then back to Makki again and we were walking around Palawan.
Jan 15
I dreamt of Lori and her twin sister.
Dreamt of Gerard and he wants to have sex with me (again!!!!) and we almost did it but I stopped halfway. He got mad and left.
And then there was this girl, I don't recognize her. We were talking in the couch and she said he wants to go home and that she is on love with Joel, one of my film school classmate. She got on a trike and left.
Monday, January 12, 2009
LET GO
Today Gerard hurt me so... But I am owning up to everything. I am not blaming him for the mean things he said about me on the email.. It was his ego talking.
He rudely emailed me asking me if I slept with Tom, our dear friend. I told him no and that his question is very insulting and disrespectful, and that I am not the type of girl he is now surrounded with in Angeles. I forwarded the message to Tom, mainly because I know Gerard is making all this up and I want to teach him a lesson. He has no right to be asking questions like that to me or to anyone else. It's just rude. I don't need his garbage anymore, I don't have to deal with his insecurities anymore. That why I left him in the first place, I cannot be feeding his ego all the time. Plus I just want to make it clear that there really is nothing going on, so get the story straight and ask Tom about it. Why do I only have to be the one to deal with his shit? (i'm sorry for the s word, but i just have to use it) He went berserk, obviously it has made him look like a fool. He threatened to email all my friends personal things about me. He was like a child. So full of ego too....
I remember the night I realized I am over him. It was his ego again. Graduation, he was expecting to win the thesis award, having spent a quarter of a million pesos on a six minute short film. If I spent that much money, I would too! But I knew he wasn't getting it. I haven't seen any of the other movies but I knew weeks before he wasn't getting it . When I left, I took with me the muses I asked to look after him. One by one, the angels in our apartment left with me too. I asked one or two to stay behind, but at one point it was just too much what he was doing to me, I called those two to fly home to Mama too. Don't get me wrong, I know all the fights were partly my fault. I am owning up to it, that's all I can do. I cannot expect him to own up to it and not blame everything on me.
The night the thesis shoot ended, he blamed me for all the mishaps of the shoot. I was Producer /AD and he was just taking too many takes of one shot. The crew was complaining already, the cast was obviously tired and irritated. I would too if I have to repeat the same line and action 25 times! I was hurrying him up on the set and after the shoot, he lashed out on me.
The movie did not win not because of any mishaps during the shoot, if anything else, people said production value wise it was great. They all point to the story. Now, the story behind that story was three months before shooting time, I told him there is something missing in the story. He got angry and wouldn't listen to my comments, he thought it was a personal attack on him. I remember one afternoon in the car we were having this argument and he told me: 'I'll show you, after the movie is done. I'll show you.'
On the graduation night, a few minutes before they mention the award, God knows how I prayed so that he gets it. I sent him all the angels and the guides I had with me , even if we were in a middle of another fight at that time. But he didn't get it, the angels can only do so much. If it doesn't have a good story, it doesn't have a good story.
I know how badly hurt he was then, so even if we weren't together anymore and I actually had other plans with other people, I hanged out with him. We went to the apartment, it was obvious he was stressed out, . The first thing he wanted to do was have sex. I said No! I don't want to be dumped with all his frustration at that moment, plus we were not together anymore. Have sex with him and after he gets his release, I will be thrown aside like a piece of trash again?
It dawned on me that moment, that most of the time, our love making was a way for him to de-stress himself. And I am left to process all of his stress. No wonder I was so stressed the whole time I was with him. I have to deal with the stress of being with him, and the stress he dumps on my energy fields.. This is a revelation I am just realizing now. I've been off him a month and I have never felt so relaxed and steady. Come to think of it, the most stressed out I felt in weeks is tonight and it's caused by him. I cannot believe I am still allowing him to have this effect on me, at such distance and via email, for chrissake.
I am hurt because... fuck I am just hurt. Period.
This happened two hours ago, slept only to wake from nightmare with him in it. I don't care if he emails the whole world things about me, I have gone beyond what other people think. What hurts me is realizing what he thinks of me, things I never thought he would think about me... I will never think of anyone that, most of all to someone I have cared about so much and still do...
or would'nt I? What I have written here is actually almost the same thing... so maybe we are the same and I really shouldn't be hurt or angry.
I guess this is the final message from the universe for me to let go. We are on a different world now, he is surrounded by the toxicity of Angeles, I'm thriving in light here in Palawan. I should stop bringing his resonance here, and I should stop sending my resonance there. I should stop worrying about his well being in Angeles. We both made a choice. It's now time to move on and live our choices.
Good bye Gerard. I am now letting you go into the wild wild world you dream of creating. As for me, I will look into the light of the matter and see this as another way for me to grow.
(sorry blog, I know this blog is negative but I just have to vent. Thank you)
He rudely emailed me asking me if I slept with Tom, our dear friend. I told him no and that his question is very insulting and disrespectful, and that I am not the type of girl he is now surrounded with in Angeles. I forwarded the message to Tom, mainly because I know Gerard is making all this up and I want to teach him a lesson. He has no right to be asking questions like that to me or to anyone else. It's just rude. I don't need his garbage anymore, I don't have to deal with his insecurities anymore. That why I left him in the first place, I cannot be feeding his ego all the time. Plus I just want to make it clear that there really is nothing going on, so get the story straight and ask Tom about it. Why do I only have to be the one to deal with his shit? (i'm sorry for the s word, but i just have to use it) He went berserk, obviously it has made him look like a fool. He threatened to email all my friends personal things about me. He was like a child. So full of ego too....
I remember the night I realized I am over him. It was his ego again. Graduation, he was expecting to win the thesis award, having spent a quarter of a million pesos on a six minute short film. If I spent that much money, I would too! But I knew he wasn't getting it. I haven't seen any of the other movies but I knew weeks before he wasn't getting it . When I left, I took with me the muses I asked to look after him. One by one, the angels in our apartment left with me too. I asked one or two to stay behind, but at one point it was just too much what he was doing to me, I called those two to fly home to Mama too. Don't get me wrong, I know all the fights were partly my fault. I am owning up to it, that's all I can do. I cannot expect him to own up to it and not blame everything on me.
The night the thesis shoot ended, he blamed me for all the mishaps of the shoot. I was Producer /AD and he was just taking too many takes of one shot. The crew was complaining already, the cast was obviously tired and irritated. I would too if I have to repeat the same line and action 25 times! I was hurrying him up on the set and after the shoot, he lashed out on me.
The movie did not win not because of any mishaps during the shoot, if anything else, people said production value wise it was great. They all point to the story. Now, the story behind that story was three months before shooting time, I told him there is something missing in the story. He got angry and wouldn't listen to my comments, he thought it was a personal attack on him. I remember one afternoon in the car we were having this argument and he told me: 'I'll show you, after the movie is done. I'll show you.'
On the graduation night, a few minutes before they mention the award, God knows how I prayed so that he gets it. I sent him all the angels and the guides I had with me , even if we were in a middle of another fight at that time. But he didn't get it, the angels can only do so much. If it doesn't have a good story, it doesn't have a good story.
I know how badly hurt he was then, so even if we weren't together anymore and I actually had other plans with other people, I hanged out with him. We went to the apartment, it was obvious he was stressed out, . The first thing he wanted to do was have sex. I said No! I don't want to be dumped with all his frustration at that moment, plus we were not together anymore. Have sex with him and after he gets his release, I will be thrown aside like a piece of trash again?
It dawned on me that moment, that most of the time, our love making was a way for him to de-stress himself. And I am left to process all of his stress. No wonder I was so stressed the whole time I was with him. I have to deal with the stress of being with him, and the stress he dumps on my energy fields.. This is a revelation I am just realizing now. I've been off him a month and I have never felt so relaxed and steady. Come to think of it, the most stressed out I felt in weeks is tonight and it's caused by him. I cannot believe I am still allowing him to have this effect on me, at such distance and via email, for chrissake.
I am hurt because... fuck I am just hurt. Period.
This happened two hours ago, slept only to wake from nightmare with him in it. I don't care if he emails the whole world things about me, I have gone beyond what other people think. What hurts me is realizing what he thinks of me, things I never thought he would think about me... I will never think of anyone that, most of all to someone I have cared about so much and still do...
or would'nt I? What I have written here is actually almost the same thing... so maybe we are the same and I really shouldn't be hurt or angry.
I guess this is the final message from the universe for me to let go. We are on a different world now, he is surrounded by the toxicity of Angeles, I'm thriving in light here in Palawan. I should stop bringing his resonance here, and I should stop sending my resonance there. I should stop worrying about his well being in Angeles. We both made a choice. It's now time to move on and live our choices.
Good bye Gerard. I am now letting you go into the wild wild world you dream of creating. As for me, I will look into the light of the matter and see this as another way for me to grow.
(sorry blog, I know this blog is negative but I just have to vent. Thank you)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
ROOTS
When I moved to Palawan last November 5, I made an intent that for the next seven months, I'll be working on healing and empowering one chakra at at time.
The month of November 2008 last year was grounding for me - the Root Chakra. I took a leap to the unknown and found myself living in the most beautiful island I have seen to date. For three weeks, in my solitude, I gound myself on a routine of meditation-yoga-work-meditation-yoga, doing my longest fast ever and learning to bike, a feat for me as I never really had a sense of center and balance before. But surprisingly enough, 30 minutes on the bike and I'm driving like crazy around the dirt roads around our space.
As the end of November nears, I found myself more and more connected to Earth. Surrounded by trees and our vegetable farm, I started to take on gardening. Coincidentally enough, I found out that my MAYAN SUN SIGN is
This really make sense to me.
Pi says that we really do have seven angels, representing each of our chakra. I'm just happy that my first angel/ root chakra really worked with me last November to reconnect myself with Mother Earth and ground me in my new home.
And I needed that grounding too, little did I know that my second angel, is going to bring me all over the country the whole of December. the month I learned to just FLOW.
The month of November 2008 last year was grounding for me - the Root Chakra. I took a leap to the unknown and found myself living in the most beautiful island I have seen to date. For three weeks, in my solitude, I gound myself on a routine of meditation-yoga-work-meditation-yoga, doing my longest fast ever and learning to bike, a feat for me as I never really had a sense of center and balance before. But surprisingly enough, 30 minutes on the bike and I'm driving like crazy around the dirt roads around our space.
As the end of November nears, I found myself more and more connected to Earth. Surrounded by trees and our vegetable farm, I started to take on gardening. Coincidentally enough, I found out that my MAYAN SUN SIGN is
EARTH(CABAN)
Keeper of the garden of Earth. Profound snychronistic connections to Earth's natural cylces and embergies provide powers of creation and memories of ancient wisdom. Earth persons help dispel bad intentions, habits and ideas. This makes them very good counselors and masters of all arts. Studious and intelligent, Earth persons endeavor to bring a flow of natural order to all aspects of life. Being connected to the dynamic forces of nature, Earth persons need much liberty to facilitate their expressions of migration or the sending of long distance communications such as the whales, elephants, birds and many other creatures. Sometimes Earth's delicate sensitivities are upset resulting in quakes of emotion even the display of volcani temper.
Keeper of the garden of Earth. Profound snychronistic connections to Earth's natural cylces and embergies provide powers of creation and memories of ancient wisdom. Earth persons help dispel bad intentions, habits and ideas. This makes them very good counselors and masters of all arts. Studious and intelligent, Earth persons endeavor to bring a flow of natural order to all aspects of life. Being connected to the dynamic forces of nature, Earth persons need much liberty to facilitate their expressions of migration or the sending of long distance communications such as the whales, elephants, birds and many other creatures. Sometimes Earth's delicate sensitivities are upset resulting in quakes of emotion even the display of volcani temper.
GALACTIC TONE
11
Resolution
Eleven assist every new creation to find its place in the universe. In the process of "fitting in," some modifications must occur. Eleven in the energy of dynamic actions facilitating change, simplification and imporvement. www.mayanmajix.com
11
Resolution
Eleven assist every new creation to find its place in the universe. In the process of "fitting in," some modifications must occur. Eleven in the energy of dynamic actions facilitating change, simplification and imporvement. www.mayanmajix.com
This really make sense to me.
Pi says that we really do have seven angels, representing each of our chakra. I'm just happy that my first angel/ root chakra really worked with me last November to reconnect myself with Mother Earth and ground me in my new home.
And I needed that grounding too, little did I know that my second angel, is going to bring me all over the country the whole of December. the month I learned to just FLOW.
Friday, January 9, 2009
TRIP
I am back home! I miss my bike, I miss my beach, I miss my coconut, I miss my matress and mosquito net, I miss my PC, and though my cat is gone missing, there really is no place like home.
I was backpacking and couch surfing the whole month of December. It was a great trip! So many things happened, so much realizations. In a lot of ways I needed that before I can really ground myself here in Palawan. I left a lot of things hanging in the city and it needed closure, otherwise I'll be half there and half here..
It's really impossible to write about everything about the trip in one blog so I guess for the rest of January I will just be writing down snipes of my trip, depends on my mood and the context of the day.
I was backpacking and couch surfing the whole month of December. It was a great trip! So many things happened, so much realizations. In a lot of ways I needed that before I can really ground myself here in Palawan. I left a lot of things hanging in the city and it needed closure, otherwise I'll be half there and half here..
It's really impossible to write about everything about the trip in one blog so I guess for the rest of January I will just be writing down snipes of my trip, depends on my mood and the context of the day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
