Black Book

Stalker - a person who follows or pesters someone (often a public figure) with whom he or she has become obsessed . .. . The phenomenon of the stalker who follows or pesters a celebrity has been recognized since the early eighties, and in the nineties has become increasingly high profile, with a concern that the end of the obsession may well be violence against the victim – The Oxford Dictionary of New Words, 1997 ed.

I am by nature not an impulsive creature (though a handful of persistent friends would insist otherwise). I could be calm and collected, deliberate and calculating even. That is why it came as a surprise when, recently, over a bottle or two of rum, a friend told me I am so close to becoming this guy’s stalker.

Is the world so paranoid nowadays that knowing a guy’s house number, the name of his maid, the age of his dog, the fact that he wears boxers rather than briefs (an assumption), labels me as a stalker? So what if I know where he lives and that Capricorn was waning the hour he was born? Or the fact that I send him box of his favorite Valrhona chocolates on his birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentines? I hardly qualify as Single White Female material. No, not me.

So in defense to my friend’s accusation, I told her this is just my way of paying homage to genius. And thinking back now, I would not have put it any other way. For what is obsession but a recognition of your self to another, and such persistence of thought is but a hope that, perhaps, you are not alone.

I have read Clinton Palanca’s Mad Tea Party four years back, and it is just one those experience that completely changed me. After finishing a marketing degree I have no idea what to do for a career. My original intention of becoming a half starving filmmaker went down the drain through the dogs when I got kicked out of Uni on my first year whilst taking an AB Communication degree. And then I read his book and I said to myself – I wanna be just like him. (Oh my, perhaps I’m a Single White Female material after all.)

So here I am, pretentious little me, working my ass off for a culinary degree abroad. To see the world from the same perspective that he has seen. To pursue that magic of taste that only an adventure, (or is it exile?) on a different land could bring. To experience passion, lust, love, on a different dark sky and wash away all the previous nights rejections with a bottle of wine and embrace the following day like as if one has never been hurt before. And to write relentlessly, lucidly, incoherently about my exploits - a love letter to the world, hoping that someone will read it and see the world the same way as I have.

Passion is wanting someone or something so badly it changes you

And so he says. And it has changed me. That book has changed me from that pothead drunk living for the next intoxication to a pot head drunk with a dream. And this days, a dream is all you need to wake up in the morning filled with dread and find a purpose to put up with another day hoping that tomorrow everything will be how it should be.

I have read Clinton Palanca when I am happy. I have read him when I am sad. I have read him when I am suicidal. When I am drunk. When I’m in love. When I am high. When I’m alone……. In a way that book has seen me grow.

In a way, his words have kept me alive.

Time Killer II

What's Your Beer Personality?

***You Are Heineken***

You appreciate a good beer, but you're not a snob about it.
You like your beer mild and easy to drink, so you can concentrate on being drunk.
Overall, you're a friendly drunk who's likely to buy a whole round for your friends... many times.
Sometimes you can be a bit boring when you drink. You may be prone to go on about topics no one cares about.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

***You Were An Owl***

You are stealthy and secretive - no one knows the true you.
You are a seeker of freedom, and you are comfortable with your dark side.

Who Were You In High School?

***You are the popular Kid***

In high school, everyone knew your name - even if you didn't know theirs.

In fact, your still skating by on your looks and charm. Nothing wrong with that!

Kissing Purity Test

***Your Kissing Purity Score: 23% Pure***

For you, it's all kiss and no talk.

You're in a permanent lip lock.

What's Your Porn Star Name?

Karen Kung-fu Grip

Who Were You In a Past Life?

You Were: A Mute Viking.

Where You Lived: Quebec.

How You Died: Hung for treason.

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

***You Passed 8th Grade Science***

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

How Selfish Are You?

It's all about you, all the time... even when it really shouldn't be about you.
In your opinion, the world should revolve around you. And you won't compromise on anything... out of principle!

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

Congratulations, you got 7/10 correct!

The Simpsons Personality Test

***You are Barney***

You could have been an intellectual leader...

Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer

You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps

Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

***Your Famous Last Words Will Be:***

I am leaving because I am bored.