:)

I know I haven't been blogging in a while. Been traveling since November 27, was in Cebu, Manila, Quezon, Tagaytay, Cebu again and now hmmm... am in Maki's place. Been here the past two days since Christmas.

It's been so surreal really. This is what my dreams are made of, I remember desiring all this a year and a half back and I'm just surprised and GLAD that the universe brought it to me this time. I cannot ask for any other timing, it's just perfect. Just broke up with Gerard a few weeks back. Last weekend in Cebu further affirmed that we really have to let go of each other. All the fighting and ego clashing is just causing me my greatest misery everyday. Since we broke up, I'm generally a lot happier and gone are the worries and fears that always come with attachment.

I guess that's why I am having such a blast with Maki. Before, I remember how we would always have little tension here and there. But after a year and a half of my journey from this point to that, I have learned so much that I just stop expecting and living in the moment. I realize that time really doesn't exist, that one and a half year since I last saw him feels like yesterday. I feel happy, content and bliss instead of the pining and wanting that comes with my infatuation a year and a half ago.

I'm just happy the way it is, I'm happy to see him once in a while be it once a year or twice a year. I am happy he is happy with his girlfriend and he thinks he has found the one. I'm a gypsy anyway, I can't stay put in one place, I'll be travelling all the time. At least, once a year, I know I have someone I can home to.

I'm happy. :) This experience further affirms that everything is going to be alright and I am always at the right palce at the right time. I trust the universe. Love!

Filmmakers Trailblazers

Trailblazers intentionally hurl themselves into the unknown wilderness. As they make their way through unexplored labyrinths, slashing away at the weeds, thorns and brambles, they pave the way where before there was nothing but overgrowth. As they blaze their own narrow paths, many others wandering through that forest sometimes find that beaten path, and if enough people were to walk it, the narrow trail widens and becomes a dirt road that eventually leads to the main road that probably leads to somewhere important.

We filmmakers are trailblazing the current cultural revolution. Whether we are aware of it or not, the world is entering a new era. It's nothing new, it's just the universe unfolding itself as it should. History has seen us evolve from the agricultural age of our forefathers to the information age we are living in now. And our unwavering idealism and refusing to accept the status quo has put us at the forefront of this silent rEvoltion.

Old systems are crumbling down before our eyes, thanks to brave film makers risking even their lives to expose the truth. The past decades have seen more and more films that show how the present system is fueled by war, human injustice and exploitation of the planet.

For centuries, humanity has been living in a mental prison and sad to say, our beloved medium has been the primary tool used in this manipulation. The media has brainwashed masses into thinking they are living in a chaotic world by amplifying the chaos around us, and fear is the bitter pill we swallow everyday. On top of that, media dictates how we ought to live our lives. Daily, we are bombarded by images of success as defined by the system and because our mind has been lulled and controlled for so long, we spend our days striving to 'live life like the movies', so to speak.

The first step towards this evolution is to free the human mind from its old belief systems and programming. Our role is to reveal the illusions and to create the visions of the future. Everything starts with a simple thought; by planting seeds of hope in people's minds today, then perhaps in this lifetime, we might see those seeds manifesting into a reality.

What seems to be emerging now is a Universal Culture of a spiritual nature. Everyday, our interconnectedness with everyone and everything is becoming evident. I may be living in a free country surrounded by the comforts provided by the suburban home, and yet when I watch a movie about a young boy in Bosnia who lost his whole family in a bomb, I find myself crying with him. I feel what he feels in that moment, perhaps because behind all the identity and masks that we wear, we truly are one. Through the power of the films that transcend human barriers, we find that we are ultimately fueled by the same passions and heartaches – we find that we are worrying esentially about the same things and we are all hoping that tomorrow will be better than today.

More and more people are waking up to the reality that there is more to this life than amassing wealth and pursuing self gratification. A lot are realizing that this pointless road is endlessly leading us to nowhere.

The world is ready for the transcendental films that will inspire and uplift the human soul. Money and fame are no longer the measuring sticks of success, and through films we can set a clear visioning to nourish the spirit while simultaneously saying goodbye to ego.

Humanity is also waking up to the fact that this planet is alive and must be nurtured and sustained before it's too late. For eons of time she has selflessly provided for us, and now we are witnessing changes that could eventually lead to her demise and of all life contained within her. It is our responsibility as filmmakers to use all the viable media possible to spread the word and to promote eco-alternative solutions. Start small, but start now.

As filmmakers, we have immense power in our hands. Films can uproot illusions that serves the world no more; through audio-visual truths well-told, we can free our trapped minds. Films can surpass the barriers of culture and language through articulation of the universal tongue - human emotions. Given a chance, the films of today can literally create tomorrow's reality, if we can just find a way to always hold on to the highest visions that express our highest selves. And as we walk this narrow path to the unknown, let us hope that more brave souls will find this trail, until the road widens enough for the whole of humanity to take the leap.

Letting Go

I am finally letting go of Gerard. I'm fine now, I guess. As one of my lightwork family puts it hardest part is walking away. We both know it's not working out, we fight all the time. The first three months was bliss but you can't stay in a relationship on the basis of the past in hope that it will be like that again in the near future.

Of course it hard! It's doubly harder that I'm here alone in Palawan - no friends, no pot, no alcohol (i can if I chose too but after cleansing I can't imagine dumping poison again). I have taken up on smoking again though, but I'm limiting it to three - four sticks a day. I think I'll be nice to myself this week and not judge me for smoking. Just for this week, transition period is not easy. Shouldn't feel bad that I can't go completely cold turkey.

But then again maybe it's perfect that I am in Palawan. If I'm in Cebu I'll find myself begging in my knees to take me back again,

"Begin setting the example not by words but by action.
Claiming your own individual sovereignty is the first step on the long journey that awaits.
There is no Hope for the servant or the slave.
Remain on your knees... it ends here.
Stand up on your feet... the journey begins."

Or if I'm in Manila I will be smoking my lungs off or drinking myself to oblivion to cope. I'm fine here, I have my coconuts and my bike and the beach and the fresh air. And yeah the cat too though lately she is being such a pain in the ass really (i'm sorry Crystal, I love you in my own little way)

I'm happy. I know that I am in the stage in my life where I have to be alone. I have come along way since I woke up a year and a half ago. I would say 70% of my physical, emotional and mental vessel has been cleared up. I have erased my past, I have flushed out the major toxins that's been plaguing me for years. I have come to let go of all attachment. I have tasted real freedom and I plan to savor this my whole lifetime. I have everything I need to do my first love - writing and bringing the world inside me alive.

I look around me and I feel an immense gratitude to the Universe for bringing me here at this point in time at this place. I love Palawan, I love being able to live simply, I love having so much time for myself. This is the time for me to focus on my self. To fall in love deeply deeply and uncoditionally with myself.

I plan to focus on cleansing for the nest six months. I have been here for a month already and each month I will focus on clearing one chakra at a time. November is all about connecting with my roots and trusting that the universe will provide me abundance. I can see it's effect on me now, the first step was letting go of the fear of losing my material possessions by letting it go. Realizing that it's all illusion and the only reality is within.

I'm looking forward to writing a lot too! :)

Cleansing

It's my eight day of juice fasting.

Yep! Even I cannot believe it, eight days without food. Right now I feel hungry and dizzy, but sometimes, especially in the mornings I feel so great. My mind is so clear and focused and I have sudden burst of energy. I feel so light too and meditation is great.

What motivates me to last this long is that each day that I fast, it's one year of my memory erased. I'm erasing ny 17th year now. I feel great. For years, my past has burdened me. It has always stopped me to from moving forward, thinking that history will repeats itself and I have to go through the same pains and regrets.

No need for that now, I finally have the wisdom and enlightenment to know that whatever the universe brings to my life is a gift. And that there is no such thing as bad or good, there's only is. And I am.

Long Distance Relationship

Gerard and I misses each other so, we are so together even if we are far. I guess this is what we call a long distance relationship.

I have never been an advocate or a believer of long distance relationship, but now that I am finding myself in it, I could see that it works. We both need space after a year of living together. And the little distance will only brings us closer because we get to appreciate the little things that we ignore when we are together.

Like me sitting on his lap, playing with his goatee and planting him a little sweet kiss.

I miss him so. I'm excited to see him in a month's time :)

I love you baby! I shout that to the universe! I love you baby!

Baby Playlist: http://view.playlist.com/13469069323

Two suitcases.

Two Backpacks.

A guitar.

Loads of Faith.

Today, I'm off to Palawan. Gerard drove me to the airport. I have always wondered how that moment will be, saying goodbye in the airport is so cinematic it's almost cliche. I mean we have been together for sixteen months... sixteen months! I don't think there's anyone else in the world who knows me as much as him. Amazingly enough, it wasn't as heart wrenching as I thought. We were standing in the rain (of course, the rain cannot not be there) as the porter stack my stuff in the trolley, and we kissed and hug and i love you. I turned around and walk in as he drives off. And that was that.

God this is like the most enlightening break up in the history of the world. I finally broke the pattern of bad break ups where I am left depressed and wrench for months. It is possible to let go without the pain, with unconditional love.

I'm just happy how beautiful this turned out. Who knows, will be back together in no time. I just know I have to do this, I have to get away. I've been so boxed in that apartment and our own little world. The past year I've been living in a domesticated comfort zone and all it gave me is a false sense of security. If I do not take this trip, I'll be a walking bundle if fear - fear that I'm going to lose him, fear that I'm getting fat and he wouldn't like me anymore, fear that I wouldn't make it as a filmmaker and he would, fear of what other people would think if we break up.

Well, I have faced all those fears and I feel free. And I find myself standing before the horizon knowingthat I now have the courage to face all fears that will come my way.


If he comes back to me, then I wouldn't be afraid anymore because taking this step has made me realize I and my spirit can stand on it's own. The lesson here is surrender - surrender to the universe, surrender to the spirit and everything will fall into place.

I am quite proud of myself for having the courage to do this.

Call of the Spirits

Just to keep you posted on what's happening on my side of the planet.
The past weeks, like many of you, I've been feeling that something big is about to happen, about to change. But instead of an external event happening to the world, something big happened within me.
I arrived in Cebu (an island in the center of Ma-I) a year ago to study film making. A city girl who lived in the urban area most of her life, it was a breather to walk around nature and be able to experience living simply. Going to school and seeing the cows and goats grazing in the morning field is priceless! And because I was away from family and friends (whose tendency is to box and label us), it was easier for me to transform from a denser personality -self destructive, addiction, insecurity, fear - to a lighter one -now, hope, flow, love.
So many beautiful things happened in Cebu- I met my boyfriend, I discovered yoga, I learned meditation, I become vegetarian, I quit smoking, I stopped being an alcoholic, I found Pi (my teacher whom I've been looking for five years), I learned the dance, I discovered I am a lightworker, I started writing again, I met wonderful people, I fulfilled my dream of becoming a film maker.... This place has given me so much, and I thank the spirits for being such a gracious host to me.
Now another island is calling for me, I've been refusing this call for so long. But now that I have surrendered to it, I'm finding everything a breeze. I've been clinging to attachments that no longer served my spirit, but now I have to let go and it has set me free.
This weekend, I am moving to Palawan. I have decided to be with people who's walking the same journey as me. I only packed two suitcases, I know that I should travel light as I don't know where the spirits will take me next. I gave most of my stuff away and boxed the rest, I want to be free of the material stuff that I have accumulated over the years.
I am letting go of the attachment to the boyfriend, too. We decided to take a little break from each other to see how it is if we walk the other way. He wants to thread the material path, I've been there and knows it's not where I want to go. I bless him in every step of his journey, I know, like me, he also wants to change the world. Who knows our path might merge in the bend, I leave it up to the Universe.
I can't wait to be part of the community Pi and the inner dancers started to show the world that it is possible to live in harmony with nature. They have created various enterprise that empowers people and sustains the community. When I get there, I know I will find my niche. In the meanwhile, I'm grateful that my job is online as it made the move a lot easier. I thought I would have to let go of the job too, which will be sad because the people I work with inspire me. I'm glad I get to bring them with me in the island.
I know that this one is not an easy journey as I have to go through major healing and cleansing. Letting go of the material stuff was easy, but there are stuck emotional blocks somewhere that has to be worked on. I'm just blessed to be gifted by having my cosmic family around to help me in this process, and my wise and patient higher self that always guides me to the right way.
To be honest with you, I really don't know what's in store for me there. This is me jumping into the unknown. I just know that my spirit is seeking to be closer to the spirit of the Mother now. And for a change I am gonna follow my spirit. I am going to set aside the ego, and let my spirit take the driver's wheel. This is what's happening to me now. I am letting go of the control and I am the child in the passenger seat again watching life pass by with glee.
And it feels like coming home.

Arrival, Departure. Departure, Arrival

I just realized this morning that for the past ten months I have the view of the port from my window. Constantly reminding me that one must always be in a state of arrival and departure.

Coincidentally, for the umpth time in the past five years, I am moving again. I have all my bags packed, well almost. I just have to buy the plane ticket and pack my computer and I'm off to a new space.

It's the classic story of boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Let's move in together and live happily ever after, only it did not end up exactly like in the fairy tale. Maybe it's not so classic, after all.

They love each other. No doubt about that. They just reached a fork in the road and both know they must separate paths this time. The prince must attend to his kingdom and the princess is heeding the call of the spirits. Maybe, in time there path will cross again.

It's a breather to be able to let go like this. It has not been always this easy and subdued. Drama queen that I am, I have the tendency to magnify ever 'drama' that life throws at me in cinematic proportions. It must be all those brain sync, maybe it's the vegan diet. But, wow, I really am amazed with myself with how well I am handling the situation

Not only that, I have decided that from now on I'm gonna be a modern day gyspsy. I will be traveling the world and treat all space that I occupy as my home and everything and everyone on it my family.

It should work - my work is online, I'm a writer, I love traveling, I'm young and have a good heart, I love meeting new people and experience. It couldn't be more perfect!

Lightworker

That's it for me when it comes to the corporate world. No more desk jobs, no more rat race, no more mind deadening task turning me into a mindless machine.

I am creative and I will create. I will dig deep into my soul for stories that will heal me, and maybe in the process touch a heart or two out there. I will open my consciousness to catch high level of thoughts and write it. Words are the first stage of manifestation, and words are my tool in bringing the golden age.

For changes will not come from heavens or sprung forth from the earth below. We are the change. We are changing in all levels of ourselves. Humanity is evolving and this we can no longer deny. Thousands of years of war, of greed and of fear, our mass consciousness is shouting enough! We are evolving, our DNA activating, like thousands of species before us. However dense we are or buried we are into the material consciousness there is a tiny spark of light within all of us saying this is not what life is supposed to be.

Live the dream. Live your dream. For truly you create your own reality. This is your Universe and you are it's Creator, fill it with beauty and light.

The Dance Begins

I have been cleansing the whole week. Was mostly alone at home, in a semi vow of silence, doing self healing and meditation. A lot of things resurface from my past, and some fears for the future.

I have been consciously carrying a lot of baggage from childhood that needs to be released. And now I could really feel it lifted up. It dawned on me I chose all those to lead me where I am now. Before I would often wish I have a normal family, now I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't have me any other way.

I learn that the first step for forgiveness is forgiving oneself. To stop the self blame because no one is at fault. In fact there is no right or wrong. There is just a path you choose and that was my choice. Because I know it will lead me to the path where I am now.

And with forgiveness comes self-love I guess. One of the major sicknesses of my personality is insecurity, a feeling of unworthiness. That has plagued me for years, but lately I have not been feeling ill at all. I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I'll actually think, ‘hey that person is a nice person. She's actually beautiful. The most beautiful thing about her is she is healing and transforming herself.’ :) Sometimes a little pat in the back from you is all that yourself needs.

I think I am losing my hold on the material world. I am still grounded and sane (I think), my goals are just shifting from creating outside to creating within. Each day I become more and more trustful of the universe abundance. I quit my corporate job a month ago and am now doing work with two community service org, marketing my boyfriend's business, doing loads of spiritual work, learning meditation and yoga, and writing the sacred script. I have more than enough to sustain me and do all this lightwork with ease and grace and for that I am immensely grateful.

I have been on this path consciously for a year now and this website has been a great help on my awakening, you are all my teachers and I thank you for that. This really feels like home to me. I think internet is a dimension of it own, and in this dimension you are my family. Thank you for the love, light and wisdom you throw at me each day. During the lowest points of my releasing stage, it's your light that sustained me through those times.

A few days ago I met a teacher. I was alone at home for four days and a lot of blockages are being released. I was fearful of what I can do to myself so I seek a monk a friend told me about. Talking to Dada really answered a lot of my doubts and questions. The foremost of which is: 'Am I going Insane?'. To which dada answered, 'no you are just waking up'. Somehow I needed that affirmation and his was enough to wake me up into this reality.

Dada told me that one must have a goal, or one just floats like a leaf. And one goal could be self realization and service for others. Those two hold true for me. I am at this point now where sole concern is not about - in Pi's words - 'making money and taking up space'. The more I think about it, the more I realized that having solely material goal is like being in a cage. The more you have , the more you want. Because the material is finite and our spirit's nature is to seek the infinite. Infinity can only be found within.

But again, there is no judgment on those who choose to create in the material world. Before I would wonder why my boyfriend is so dense. Before I would wish he could be more spiritual, but the past days it dawned on me it’s not about the path you choose. It’s about the enjoyment one feels in each moment of the journey. And I am just happy to see that he is enjoying his material creations and he inspires me to feel the same towards my lightwork.

I feel a lot more free now. That must be the reason why I am finding myself more and more in the moment. Anything I do, I remember I am doing it because I want to not because of some pay off in the future. I am writing this blog because I am filled with so much gratitude and love and I just want to throw some at you. I'm cleaning up our home (a job I would normally not enjoy) because it mirrors the cleansing happening inside me. Enjoy is to joy as enlightenment is to light.

Pi reminded me again about the concept of judgment and duality. The past week, I was thrown between two paths and I felt that I have to pick one soon. He reminded me there is no right or wrong path. There is just your chosen path, a way for the spirit to experience the physical world. That's all I needed and everything is now clear to me. And the funny thing is, I was so clouded by my thoughts once it all cleared up I realized the path is one.

I am learning that enlightenment is not a destination but a journey. I plan to dance through this.

Ascenscion Blog

Now that I am finally working from home, I could finally regularly update my blog. :) Been wanting to do this for the longest time but always have an excuse not to find time. But I have all the time in my hands now and I really plan to dig dip and climb high in this ascension process.

I will be taking recount of my experience, more for my own clarity but also to encourage others to look at everything from a different angle and tap on the beauty and magic within.

CLEANSING
This is the most challenging, but at the same time fruitful stage of ascension. When you take a couple of days off the material world (material meaning the usual paradigm we have been used to) and do overall cleansing for the body, the mind, the emotion, the spirit etc, it just escalates the processs, giving you the push that you need.

The first time I had a major cleanse was early this year and it really gave wonderful result. I was on the Master cleanse - lemon juice with pure maple syrup and a dash of cayenne pepper - for five days. It was though, I was feeling so weak I could hardly move. That was also the time when I had my first innerdance. There was a good three days when I cant literally get out of bad. Maybe my first Kundalini experience. But I notice after the cleanse, good things starts to happen in my life. I found Pi, whom I've been looking for years immediately after the cleanse. I was able to break free to strong material hold that has imprisoned me for years.

I'm planning to do a major cleanse again.

FOOD
Food is lately my obsession. I'm just surprised with my growing aversion with meat. I've been vegan for a couple of months now but I would sometimes have a bite of my boyfriend's steak just to make sure I cook it right. But now, the thought of eating meat is repulsive to me. No offense to meat eaters, this is just an observation, I am even surprise myself. For wha teverit's worth I feel a lot better physically now that I have gone vegan.

To be cont...

Message from my teacher

Pi's last message before he left for Kalipay once more (from innerdance.multiply.com)

The Big Kahuna
If I could share but one thing to people I’ve met along the way, it would be this:
______________________
Spirituality isn’t like medicine, needful prayer or a Swiss Army-knife.

Spirituality isn’t a tool for getting what you want.

You do not even know what your spirit may want for you, so focused are you on what your smaller mind think it wants and needs.

The Inner Dance isn’t a tool for getting what you want; what you think you need. Rather, it is a tool for letting go of your needs. It doesn’t mean spirit will not get you what the universe has coming for you. It only means that we must start putting our hearts in the right place; where the desire to give freely takes the place of neediness and deprivation.

Ascension
You are your own cause living out your own effects. Your cause may not be the figurative beach, it may be Moses’ symbolic desert, Jesus’ wilderness, the Buddha’s forest, Mohammed’s mountain; or it could also be your own busy city.

If you desire your life to dance, you cannot do away with purging. And you cannot keep your eyes from your ascension, even if you are only now taking glances at it.

Though it may be the hardest thing you will ever do, you will have to start climbing at one point.

There is nothing else to do. No one else will do it for you.

Just take the first step. And another step. The whole point is to take enough steps to realize that walking and dancing to your higher will is the easiest thing you will ever do.

It is so simple. The cause of the Inner Dance is love. The effect of love is happiness. Find your highest love, and on the same island lives your highest happiness.

Love,
Pi

HIgher Self

I had a wonderful vision today. I was dancing in front of the beach when a screen flashed in front of me. In the screen I saw myself wearing an orange tunic, seated lotus on a floor of an ashram. I have this perpetual amused smile in my face. I look serene, peaceful and brilliant.

Then both of us started dancing.

We danced for the people that we meet along the way. People that give us reflection of ourselves, and from their experiences we see the bigger picture of our own. We danced for them who have left and come back, completely changed with inspiring stoies about finding their divinity.

We danced for them, and then we dance for ourselves. For our dreams, both in the material and spiritual plane. For gratitude for overcoming the battle and emerging a greater multi dimensional being every time. For the gift of paving way to light.

As she merges with me, I find myself saying: We are here. We hear you.


Thank you for this experience! :)

The Unlikely Pilgrim

Back Story
It is impossible to tell my story without telling the back story behind it.

It was November of 2003 when I last saw Pompet. We bumped into each other in Boracay. It was just one of those trips that I can’t forget. I tripped on shrooms for the first time and like with most first, it was an unforgettable experience. In my lucid hallucination, I saw him shrink into a child. When I sobered up, he mentioned that he feels a big change is coming for him, a rebirth perhaps.

That was the last time I saw him. People thought he was dead. I remember a story he told me about a white guy who gave up everything and sailed to Palawan via only a raft he made. My gut feeling tells me that Pompet is in a similar quest.
I finished college and went on with the daily grind. Often my thoughts would drift back to my missing professor. I hardly remember the stuff he thought me in the classroom. Though one thing that stuck with me is how he loves to use the word “empowerment!”. I and my girlfriends would call him Pompet Empowerment behind his back. It does actually have a nice rhyme into it. I remember too that he would talk about stuff like consciousness and the universe and the cosmic connection of everything. It sounded strange yet so familiar.

No news for years. In that time I found myself in plenty of situations when I wished he were around. I needed someone to tell me the relevance of those growing pains with the expansion of this universe. I needed someone to explain to me that if everything is connected then why do I feel like I don’t belong. Then a common friend called to say he saw Pompet on TV. Apparently he is now a healer in some mountain. I made a mental note to call the TV station to ask which mountain, but I seem to always lose myself in the daily grind, the self wallowing, the booze, the gigs, the smoke, I kept on delaying the call.

And then I moved to Cebu. Coming down South was a one hundred eighty degree turn for me. I was just a giggling gig girl; and then bam! I was flooded with all this information. It started when I meditated and this opened up a whole new dimension. Suddenly I was looking at this world, this life, this reality from a different perspective. It is as if a veil of illusion placed when I was growing up is slowly being lifted up. I start to remember who I am. I felt alive for the first time. A bit alone too.

That’s why in this awakening process Pompet was in my head more than ever. The things he told me years back is finally making sense. I wanted to tell him, Hey man I’m finally getting it. But I know too that I wanted look for him because I needed affirmation that I am not going insane. In this process, your old reality is so shaken up it’s not hard not to consider if you are going nuts.

A few weeks before the school term ended, I told my boyfriend that I am ready to go up that mountain to look for my friend. That night I googled his name and voila, apparently he’s been down the mountain in a while. It’s funny that what I am looking for is right before me. But now I see that there is perfect timing for everything and I have to go through that process alone. I contacted him and flew that weekend to Manila to attend my first inner dance.

Inner Dance
Seeing Pompet, or PI as he calls himself now, after all those years, I felt like I just missed him for a month. He is different but it was not really odd for me coz I guess I have always seen him that way. I have always seen the expression of his higher self.

And my first inner dance experience? I felt that I’ve hit home. I felt that I belong, that I am connected, that I am one with everything. The lights I see in my head during meditation started moving. And if inner dance is being one with your spirit, then from that experience I could tell that my spirit gyrates the whole time.

My back hurts like hell after the session. I’ve been reading on Kundalini energy and working on rasing mine. I think my first inner dance did something because I could feel this tension rising up in my spine. On the second day after the session, I was curled up in bed with this unbearable pain. And then I felt it rise up my crown and I heard a pop as if a thousand lights burst in my head. I fell asleep and woke up like a new born.

First dance and I was finally able to break away from all those old pattern that stultify me for years. In the beginning of
my awakening process, I slowly shed of the old hold I have to the material, and the dance marked my final good bye to it. Immediately after that, new opportunities just keep on coming in. It made me realize that new energy cannot come in unless you make space in your life by letting go of the old patterns that no longer serve you.

Holy Week
It was a natural choice to go down to Mindanao for the Holy Week. Weeks before my trip I’ve been raving to friends about my unlikely pilgrimage further down south. I really want to experience Mt. Makilala. Even before I found Pi, I have read the Philippine connection to Lemuria. After reading his blog where he mentioned the presence of the Seventh Pyramid in that part of the country, it really resonated with me that I have to experience the energy for myself.

Also it’s the best time of the year to be down south. Even before Christ, the time around 21st to 23rd of March has been sacred for our pagan ancestors. This is the time of the spring equinox, when the sun comes closest to the earth. In the past, it’s a time for worship for the coming harvest. Now science has proven that during equinox, earth is bombarded by powerful solar energy. And the point of the earth where this energy is strongest is at the equator. And Mindanao is the closest to the equator that you could get here in P.I.

And finally I was hoping I could grab a good story from that trip for a feature screenplay. With school over for me, it’s about time that I go out there and chase a story. It just seem natural that I write ascension films. I have already committed to my higher self that I will do this lightwork full time. Stories and films are my medium to spread healing and light.

Cosmic Connections
I arrived at Makilala without any expectations. I just want to hang out with an old friend, grab some ideas for a screenplay and chill up in the mountain. I did have a few intent that I want to work on though, I want to quit smoking and meditate a lot. I wasn’t expecting to make connections with people who are like me. Before this trip, I really thought I am strange, if not insane. This trip proved otherwise. Over breakfast table I, Pi, Troy, Angelito, Kat, Tita Bettsy and the rest of the group would talk about light work, ascension, the flower of life, DNA activation, the cosmic hierarchy of spirit, Lemuria, the Mayans, alien connection, space ship and other metaphysical and esoteric stuff like it’s the most natural thing. And it would go on the whole day in between munching on cosmic energized food, inner dance, equinox dance, full moon dance, study hall time, daily morning trek into the sacred falls and napping a lot.

This is such a profound experience for me because I really don’t have anyone to talk this with in my immediate circle of friend. My boyfriend was quite tolerant in the beginning but lately he’s been telling me that all these beliefs are not based on scientific fact and its all a bunch of B.S. In fact another intent I set out for this trip is to have strength, courage and wisdom to hold firm in my belief even if the people around me think otherwise. I want my relationships, especially my partner, to respect what I believe in the same way I respect theirs. As I see this as my work. My life.

Catharsis
The whole trip, one term that always pops up is catharsis. I thought it was some sort of a catalyst or something till I ask what it means. Apparently it’s when you get rid of an old blockage and is manifested by crying, screaming or in Kat’s case a whole lot of coughing. I told them and myself it ain’t gonna happen to me.

And then we went up to the sacred water falls further up in the mountain. It’s the closest to nature I have ever been. The water is so clear you could really feel the healing as it flows through you. The sound of the forest resonates with your whole being. The smell of the thick earth and vegetation fills you up. You feel great burst of energy that hiking up and down for an hour seems a breeze.

It was a Good Friday and I was dancing by the rocks in the falls when I found myself spinning and spinning and spinning. Then I felt something rising up from my abdomen. In my mind’s eye I saw a black sphere. I just have to let out of my system. I started screaming. After a few moments I gathered myself. I felt so good, so light, as if a big burden was lifted out of me.

Transformations
I flew back to Cebu transformed. I have a lot of things to credit from this trip. On the top of the list, I gave up cigarette, an addiction I was nursing for eight years. It was hardly my effort though, being so close to nature and being around people with such positive vibe the last thing in your mind is to want to smoke. You just want to bathe in the beauty and the love around you. It’s been two weeks now since my last cigarette and yes once in while I find myself craving for a stick. What I do is breathe in pranic energy around me and the craving is gone in a minute

When it comes to food, I have decided to go raw. Troy and Pi suggested I do it three days in a week, just fruits and fresh vegetables – all uncooked. I am in my seventh day now and I feel good, I lost 2 kg in a week, my skin looks better and though I have an occasional craving for cooked food once in a while (just an hour ago I was tempted to trade my immortal soul for corned beef with potatoes and onions and fried garlic rice) I think I might actually go raw for good. It just make sense, I think we humans are really meant to eat raw. First you save electricity because you do not have to cook. Next if everything is energy then we consume the unadulterated energy of the food. After all what you eat becomes who you are. And finally at least this is going to help me completely give up on meat. But then again, I’d still have sea foods once in a while. After all It was from the ranks of fishermen that Jesus Christ called his first Apostles.

Everyday now, I do Yoga and a bit of Inner dance when I wake up in the morning and before I sleep at night. Since I started doing Inner dance, I could really feel the need for my body to stretch. I have done a lot of work out regiments before but nothing distresses like yoga. The only downside to all this clean living is that I’m sleeping a lot lately. I found out that an hour power nap in the afternoon could give you the boost to go on the whole afternoon and night.

I always try to apply what PI said one time when he is doing inner talking: Don’t expect to get a different result by doing the same old patterns. Whenever I get a bit stressed or anxious, instead of lighting a cigarette or sulking in a corner, I try to change my pattern. I go down to the beach and do some inner writing or clean up in the kitchen or nibble on a raw carrot and everything just falls into place. It’s clear we have to let go of our old pattern and always act from the perspective of our higher self – that part of us that always brims with love and wisdom and light for everyone, for any situation, for everything.

Last weekend, I brought my boyfriend to an inner dance session here in Cebu. I introduced him to Troy and we also met some new people. He was very open about it and found everyone nice. On the sunset party that Troy threw in his aunt’s house, we feasted on vegetarian dishes, played some tribal music and talked about light work. We realized it is possible to socialize without booze or smokes and still have a great time. Though he has not verbalize it, I could feel he is now in full support of my light work.

Gratitude
Looking back now, I feel that Pompet, Pi, was not really gone all those years. Whether he is around or not, he is my constant companion in this quest for enlightenment. Before we left Mindanao, he thought me to be in a constant state of gratitude. And that’s what I am feeling now. I remember how he opened the doors for me, how he empowered me, how he showed me the path to light. I am thankful for that. And I am thankful that a lot people is now inspiring me to do this lightwork with dignity, compassion and lightness. And now it’s just natural to pass the love by the left hand side, till we all remember who we are.

Finding PI

Subject: So you have come down from the mountain...
Feb 18, '08 9:40 AM
by Liberty for users innerdance and goodnightmoon


Welcome back teacher

peace love and light

we will see each other soon.

i miss you.

p.s. (i love pi. it suits you.)

Ascenscion Films

I have a dream. I dream of a new earth where all people live in peace and harmony, where difference in color, religion and race does not segregate us but rather show us what beautiful muti dimensional beings we all are. I dream of a planet where all beings that walk its land and fly its sky recognize that Mother Earth is a sentient being, alive like us and must be nurtured and love the same selfless way that she has provided for all eons of time. I dream of a society where people are not enslave by lack and fear – lack of money, lack of food, fear of being sick, fear of being mugged. I dream of a place where everyone knows that the universe will provide, all we have to do is ask. I dream of a place where people are empowered by love and compassion.

Everyday we are bombarded by mass media with images of war, stories of people dying senseless death from a shootout or cancer. From what we see in TV and film, it is as if the whole world is a massive place of chaos and disaster. We are brainwashed to believe that this is a normal pattern, that this part of human nature. And so we expect it, we walk our everyday expecting something bad to happen.

It’s been said that our brain does not recognize a thought from an actual experience. When we think of something, our brains send the same signals to our physical and emotional state as if the thought is actually hapenning. When we watch film, as we empathies with characters, our brain reads it as if it’s actually happening to us. And as we continue to bombard ourselves with violence and fear in the movies, this becomes part of our memory bank thus we start to see the world as a scary place to live in.

Films should give a different experience to humanity. As a film maker we have an immense power in our hands. For our creation literally becomes a part of somebody’s reality. Wouldn’t we want to give our fellow man the highest expression of ourselves? That part of us who always thrive in the light of divine love?

Rather than making movies of Earth’s destruction, why don’t we make movies showing Earth’s abundant beauty? Imagine if all those images of violence and destruction are replaced by images of our planet restored to the paradise that it is. Then I’m pretty sure one day we will al wake up and realize that the fantasy world we all dream of is actually in front of us.

Film is my medium. It is my medium to bring forth all my dreams to life. My stories are expression of men’s enlightenment. My characters are ordinary people awakening to the divine beings that we really are. My purpose is to awaken those that are asleep in this 3D reality and show them a glimpse of happiness and peace in higher dimensions. Light is the recurring symbol in all my work – as a part of a story, as a part of set design, or as something the character is aiming for. The use of colors is base on the colors of our chakra. Sounds are sublime and magical, so as to resonate to our higher self. My movies are experience of peace, love and light. The mood is surreal, sublime, like a prayer.

11:11

Relax in your light. We think that which we seek is outside of us. When we want something, it is as if our spirit soar outside of ourselves unto the object of our desires. But when we learn to leap within ourselves, then we realize that everything we desire and seek is already withn us.

We seek love when we are love itself. We are the manifestation of the energy of love. Love in it's physicality.

We seeek prosperity, when we are rich within our wildest imaginings. We are earth istelf - bountiful of beauty and abundance.

We seek knowledge when all we have to is tap into the opening collective consciousness and all the truth aburour existance, our reality, all knowledege and wisdom in the unverse is in our hand. It is all whithin us waiting to be activated.

We are the light that we seek. Close your eyes and dont be afraid of the darkness, and see the thousand stars within you.