Look to the Light

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Soul Re-searching

Having so much time on my hands with school starting not till the 13th of August, I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. As in literally. The question of what is the soul, who are we, what are we and why are we here.

I've been dabbling in metaphysics since high school. Sparked by reading philosophy books from my grandfathers library, I came to question the dogmas handed to my generation. At fourteen, i was a self proclaimed atheist. Greatly influenced by Ayn Rand's and the three great Greek philosophers' - Socrates, Aristotle and Plato's - works, I believed in the greatness of 'I'. Capitalism is what makes the world go around, democracy is the answer to most of the socio-political problem of the world, christianity is but an institution, and this lifetime is all we have. There is no such thing as a life after death, we are given only one chance then everything turns to dust.

But as life handed me more experience and growing pains, I felt that there is something more than 'I'. Something bigger than me, this life, this world. I started reading on Paganism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, Astrology and New Age. I would get snippets of wisdom from each religion and apply it in my life. I applied the golden rule most of all: "Whatever you do to your brother, you do to yourself" as I have observed that this is evident in all religious teachings. Thus when asked what my religion is, I would answer: no organized religion but deeply spiritual.

This past weeks I have been studying 'The Secret'. Brought mainstream by a documentary of the same title, I have known 'the secret' since high school by reading "Think and Grow Rich' Napoleon Hill and "The Power of Believing" by an author I forgot . Basically the gist is our mind has the power to bring in whatever we want. Thoughts are things and one must just learn to vividly visualize the life he or she wants and the universe will conspire for him or her to get it.

I have thoroughly believed in this since I was young. I haven't practiced it much the past years but the popularity of The Secret and testimonials from friends sparked again this old interest. The funny thing is if you watch the documentary or read the books, this teachers will not tell you what 'the secret' is. Instead they will lay down the tools for you to find it out for yourself.

One tool is meditation. And so everyday I would go deep into and explore my inner world trying to discover what the secret is. But most of the time I would visualize the life I want to have - with plenty of money and plenty of friends and stunningly beautiful. One morning after smoking 3j's down south and a hangover to booth, I went into my lotus position and repeatedly whispered this mantra in my mind "wisdom and enlightenment, wisdom and enlightenment". I don't know what got into me that morning, but instead of asking for the MacBook I want, I asked for wisdom and enlightenment. I know, as I have said I don't know what got into me.

The Secret says that when you asked for something it would usually come in the most unexpected place. A day or two after that morning glory, I was tripping online and suddenly I came across this web page whilst I am doing my research on weed (that is another story though). Its about a part in the brain called amygdala and how it is responsible for higher learning as it activates your upper brain. You see we have the lower brain which is responsible for basic human needs and emotions such as hunger, sex, flight or fight etc. The upper brain is the least used, after all it has been said that we are only using ten percent of our brain.

So, for a couple of hours or so I tried to switch up my amygdala which is not an easy feat at first. How can you twitch a part of your body which is in the middle of your brain? You could easily twitch a finger or a toe but part of a brain? And so I went to sleep not knowing if I was able to twicth it or not. How am I to know right.

The following day, as I was going trough my daily ride in the information highway something wierd was happening. Whatever website I tried going into I always end up reading on stuff about the power of the brain and how it holds the key to everything. I would go to a completely unrelated website and symbols and subliminal messages would pop up. I played Jamiroquai's 'Traveling without Moving' album and suddenly I am hearing the songs in a different light - try listening closely to 'Virtual Insanity' for example. Coinicidence? I decided to roll a joint and voila - they're even on my slow burn paper (CHILLS Americana).

I was digesting so much information, losing myself in all I was reading and hearing and seeing. And then finally everything fell into place. All those questions in my head about who I am, what I am, what this world is and why I am here was answered. They answered it in the most unlikely place, in the most profound ways.

We are not physical beings on a spiritual journey, rather we are spiritual beings on a physical journey. All of the world as we have known, all of life is, is a virtual reality of 3D deviced so that we can experience experience. Call it the matrix if you want, but what we have known to be real is a technology of reality grids that our soul can go to, to have that experience of being.

The evidence is everywhere, we only fail to see it because we only use our outer vision and we have been programmed to see what they want us to see. It is as if every experience is genetically encoded in our memories. But once we open our inner eye we will see the truth stuck up on the wall. Everything from the smallest life form to the whole of this solar system and other galaxies beyond follows the same geometrical design. Perhaps you have heard of the Fibonacci number or the Phi, everything has that number (number being the universal language). If the matrix function in a binary of 1 and 0, we function in the grid of the Phi. This is called 'Sacred Geometry' and is devised to give us a linear time experience of duality - night and day, happiness and sorrow, light and darkness, life and death.

And we are asked 'to step outside the box and observe reality through its pattern rather than our emotional body'. Because the grid is crashing down. This experiment on virtual reality is finally coming to an end. We are finally leaving our three dimensional body of matter, experience and time and be the five dimensional beings that we really are. And it all starts by enLIGHTening our minds, the seat of our souls. What we really are.

We are but a part of a big cosmic creation. We are what a nanosecond is in a decade. But we are one. We are all part of one another .

In that huge cosmic connectedness we are the light. We live in harmony pf peace, love and light seeing the spectrum of everything in bright colors of beauty. We travel at the speed of light and time is an inifinite contimum. We are eternal powerful beams of light enlightening the universe.

We go from galaxy to galaxy in order to shed light to where darkness still thrives. But there is really no darkness, there's only the absence of light. And so we shed our rays of beauty and love in all this we create and allow it to grow in harmony with the rest of the universal creation.

The world we are at now is soon coming at that age of peace. Flicker of thoughts that makes us rem'ember' who we are and why are here. To shed light in this young beautiful planet, enlightening all of creations. And they are starting to awaken too, the Earth and all its beings is in a series of transformation that would finally bring it to light.

And we are all ONE.

Filmmaking

I have always wanted to be a filmmaker

You see I love good stories be it read, watched or told. I am quite a reader but there is something about watching movies that give you a different level of experience. The moving pictures are able to vividly capture moments – moment of happiness, moment of love, moment of grief, moment of peace - so that when a perfect moment happens to you, you recognize it and not just pass you by.

This fascination with films leads me to aspire to pursue filmmaking. When I was in high school, I dabbled in directing school plays and the work gives me such a wonderful feeling of satisfaction. I thought that when I finally join the adult world, this is how work should feel like. By college, it was a choice between UP’s Film and Audio Visual Program and Ateneo’s College of Communication major in Film. At the urging of my folks, I chose the latter even if radical UP was more my taste. I ended up at the Jesuit school and like most kids my age back then, I flunked first year, missing the required point average by .02%. Story of my life. I ended op in a business school and finished ok. I worked in various firms doing sales, traveled a bit, made new friends and lost some old ones, have her heart broken, learned to heal, live the daily grind, learned a few things about growing up, got drunk a lot too. But at the back of my head I know I will pursue what I really want sooner or later.

Now, I have decided this is the perfect time to continue what I have started, to study film and work in the industry. I might have a few set back in the past but I know everything happens for a reason. I have to experience failure, love, waiting, finding, losing, death, laughter, friendship, wasted, rapture, spirituality, so that I could give this feeling of experience to people through my work. Showing them the intricate details of life as I have seen it. I have to meet the people that touched my life or broke my heart or just plain passed me by because only then could I make my characters real. I have to meet the teachers that came my way so that they can teach me bits of wisdom that answered some of the questions in my head, further affirming there is so much more to learn.

Why IAFT

Last December, I passed by Big Foot’s booth in Glorietta and was excited to learn that there is a film school in the country. I talked to the guy behind the booth for a good thirty minutes, asking questions, seeing myself doing the program sometime soon. He was nice enough to give me a black shirt with the International Academy of Film and Television logo on it. I have to give it away for Christmas though because it was two sizes smaller than mine. I told you, story of my life.

IAFT is my choice because it is the only film school in the country that offers a global outlook in their program. I firmly believe that we are in the age and time when one cannot not just look at the bigger picture. With the state of the art equipment being used in the school, I am able to learn the latest in technology and use it in my work. Having mentors from all over the world greatly helps me see the big picture by learning their craft and hearing their wisdom. Living in a different city promises new experiences and growing pains that I could share in my stories. And above all I am working with people with the same passion as I have, and perhaps a few who shares the same vision as mine, and together we could bring our vision to the world.

On film, ego, and creation

I now realize that making a film is not a one-man team. Instead, it’s a collaboration of various artists putting their vision and talent with the goal of making one great film. I used to think that being a director is a tough job because you are doing most of the work. I arrived at this conclusion mostly from my experience directing plays in high school. This is really where I was leaning when I was younger – to direct, to be at the center of things, to see my vision come to life. But the past eight years seem to have changed this perception. The journey that has brought me where I am now was indeed a humbling experience. I no longer see film making, or whatever I do for that matter, as a way for me to prove my greatness to the world. But rather to share to the world the few things life has thought me, and in the process learn some more.

Don't get me wrong; I still believe that ego is important for any creation. Only by putting a part of ourselves in something do we create something meaningful for us and then, for others. But it should not be the bottom line. Rather it’s realizing that even as a screenwriter, an editor, a line producer, a caster, a sound designer, it’s your movie. And a good director must always strive to make everyone put their selves – their ego- in their work. Because unlike in a painting or a book, a movie is a creation of many artists.

Hence my dilemma, I’ve been wondering for a while whether to be on the writing part, the sound side or editing part of filmmaking. My affinity to all is the same. I have a long love affair with the written word. I have a journal since I was ten and as mentioned, have a great passion for stories. But also, eighty percent of my life is music and believes that it is the psychological backbone in any film. Doing editing is also something that I enjoy. I love playing with colors and images. Though my experience on that is basic Photoshop, the fact that I could sit in front of my PC editing images for twelve straight hours must be something.

IAFT’s one-year immersion program, because it touches all side of film making, answers my dilemma. I figure after a year of learning everything from my mentors, I would know my niche in this industry. Who knows, I might even end up directing after all. Or something far flung from my original intention - distributing film perhaps. If there’s one thing experience has thought me, it’s that: everything is all about experience. And I plan to enjoy this ride and be prepared for whatever life has in store for me.

I am excited to start my first term this August. I can’t wait to meet new people and learn. I’m once again this high school kid hungry for knowledge, but this time with ample experiences to boot and knowing that it does not come without hard work and a clear head.