Two suitcases.

Two Backpacks.

A guitar.

Loads of Faith.

Today, I'm off to Palawan. Gerard drove me to the airport. I have always wondered how that moment will be, saying goodbye in the airport is so cinematic it's almost cliche. I mean we have been together for sixteen months... sixteen months! I don't think there's anyone else in the world who knows me as much as him. Amazingly enough, it wasn't as heart wrenching as I thought. We were standing in the rain (of course, the rain cannot not be there) as the porter stack my stuff in the trolley, and we kissed and hug and i love you. I turned around and walk in as he drives off. And that was that.

God this is like the most enlightening break up in the history of the world. I finally broke the pattern of bad break ups where I am left depressed and wrench for months. It is possible to let go without the pain, with unconditional love.

I'm just happy how beautiful this turned out. Who knows, will be back together in no time. I just know I have to do this, I have to get away. I've been so boxed in that apartment and our own little world. The past year I've been living in a domesticated comfort zone and all it gave me is a false sense of security. If I do not take this trip, I'll be a walking bundle if fear - fear that I'm going to lose him, fear that I'm getting fat and he wouldn't like me anymore, fear that I wouldn't make it as a filmmaker and he would, fear of what other people would think if we break up.

Well, I have faced all those fears and I feel free. And I find myself standing before the horizon knowingthat I now have the courage to face all fears that will come my way.


If he comes back to me, then I wouldn't be afraid anymore because taking this step has made me realize I and my spirit can stand on it's own. The lesson here is surrender - surrender to the universe, surrender to the spirit and everything will fall into place.

I am quite proud of myself for having the courage to do this.